Choose Blue to help those who are feeling Blue

On Sunday, my wife, Ondina and I went to the National Gallery of Victoria to see an exhibition by artist, Brian Donnelly, aka KAWS.  

Titled: ‘Companionship in the Age of Loneliness’, the exhibits on display caused me to ponder deeply about the nature of being human.

The ‘Age of Loneliness’ seems a most insightful observation about the nature of a first world country such as Australia.

We hear with much sadness about the sense of loneliness many teenagers and young adults experience and we know it can afflict all age demographics.  

My youngest daughter, Georgia has been on a mini crusade, telling people of the need to watch a documentary which recently appeared on ABC TV titled: ‘Old People’s Home For 4 Year Olds’

If you stop reading here, yet take it upon yourself to watch it on ‘iview’, I feel I’ve achieved something worthwhile with this post.

Many issues are raised in this outstanding work.  The profound sense of loneliness many of our older citizens experience was clearly evident.  A figure of 40% was quoted – representing the number of those in nursing homes who never receive visitors.

Despite this disturbing reality, the documentary left me feeling profoundly moved in a positive way.

Using the vernacular of the ‘Triangles Framework’, what I saw was evidence of a very Blue Triangle approach to addressing this situation.

Forget the blame game so often leveled at governments for a lack of action. The team of researchers took initiative to trial this intergenerational experiment and see if it might shed light on positive strategies to enhance the quality of care for a vulnerable sector of our society.

It was touching to see the manner in which compassion and care for the elderly residents was shown.  

Many were uncertain of their capacity to become involved in the activities, especially those demanding physical engagement.

Understandably, many wanted to avoid; they wanted to be rescued from doing something which put them out of their comfort zone.  Yet they weren’t – instead being gently cajoled to participate.

Fascinating, was the intuition the 4 year olds seemed to possess –  recognising the importance of not rescuing their buddies. The sound of one of the 4 year olds, Aiden, hollering:  “C’mon Eric” still brings a smile as I picture Eric responding to his call.

The Triangles Framework points to the consequences of a ‘Red Triangle’ outlook and the behaviours which accompany this paradigm.  People learn to be helpless. They languish.   

On the flip side, when adopting a ‘Blue Triangle’ outlook, people develop and grow.  They flourish.

Old People’s Home For 4 Year Olds could not provide a more powerful example of this truth.  

As a consequence of the gentle, yet constant proddings for both young and old to take responsibility and become engaged in the activities; to leave behind well trodden mantras such as “It’s too hard”,  there was clear evidence of these human beings  – from both ends of the life spectrum, truly flourishing.

I stated at the outset how KAWS works stimulated deep pondering.  His capacity to represent a lonely, almost shattered person is remarkable.  Of all of his drawings and sculptures one stood out for me.

The person with their arm around the forlorn figure.  Not in a rescuing, “I’ll fix it” or victim inducing “I don’t know how you cope” mode.  Rather with a gesture of support.  Recognising the pain and looking to support the person to move forwards.

It made me think of the documentary.  That when we’re engaging with those gripped with loneliness or other struggles, we need to invoke our inner Aiden.  “C’mon Eric” – when fuelled with care and empathy can truly help those in need.  

Supporting another who is feeling blue, to adopt a Blue Triangle outlook is a truly compassionate and powerful thing to do.  

You’re helping them to shift from an inwards focus where darkness often prevails, to an outward view where light can be seen on the horizon.  

The double bonus for us, when we empty ourselves for the good of others, is that strangely, we become more full.  

Tell that to the modern marketing machine which says in none to subtle ways, our happiness only comes when we turn inwards to fill ourselves!

To learn more about Ethical Leaders or to book an appointment with Pete, email: pete@ethicalleaders.com.au or call 0419583077, and click here to connect with Pete on LinkedIn now.